


lavender and everything nice

by yugkookisreal



Series: blood clots [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Forbidden Love, It's Tokyo Ghoul After All, M/M, Relationship Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:15:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22436260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yugkookisreal/pseuds/yugkookisreal
Summary: "can i?"."i wouldn't bite".
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Series: blood clots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1547809
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	lavender and everything nice

**Author's Note:**

> i have a thing where writing chapters in one book seems far too daunting for me and writing all of them in one shots is easier so I suggest reading the start of the series to understand this one shot better.

everything is fine. 

or at least that's what oikawa would like to say- that suga is still under wraps about oikawa's ghoulish nature and hasn't found out through the most unorthodox of means. but here's the thing, it happened and even if he wishes it didn't, it's not going to change anything. 

the world isn't going to just rewind for his sake. his position was one of many - the nervous tick in his jaw, the tension of his steps, the sickening churning in his stomach - and him being found out was nothing new. each month he heard a case like this, the way the person spilled the beans on the other like the memories they had shared was nothing more then that, nothing more then time spaces filled for a mean time. 

so yes, he would like to say that everything's fine, except it isn't and it never will be. 

he's still waiting for the bomb to tick, the clock hanging above his head to strung with such clarity that his guts, his kakuhou to pull apart with kagunes and snide, distasteful remarks. 

but still, with only a day gone by uneventfully and them both chained in their home in thickening, cloudy tension and fear, there's this feeling bubbling in his chest. it's nothing in front of the horrors he had conjured up - of suga leaving him to the higher up investigator dogs, of him being stabbed his sleep, of suga forgetting about him like in one of those stories he'd hear - but still it's something. 

that feeling of lightness with everything in the open he has nothing to hide. nothing at all. and even if it terrifies him, it's a freedom he had never tasted except amongst his own kind who even in front of he's feared. 

"i wondered why you were addicted to coffee". his thoughts shatter at his voice and turns his head to look at the silver head sitting on the sofa. suga doesn't turn to look at him, instead opting to look at the news. he's wrapped in an old quilt oikawa had brought with him from miyagi, a mug of jasmine tea warming his hands. the smell is pleasant but still it tickles his nose. "I reasoned that maybe it was because of your reruns late at night, your study sessions...". 

hazel bore into him then, suga turning to look back at him. "but i guess it should've been my first indication". 

the silence which comes after stretches, the threat lining its edge hazy yet apparent. oikawa keeps quiet because these soft jabs had been found here and there in the conversation and he's knows first hand how confusing it is to first understand everything. 

dating suga, a human, a prey was confusing and irritating and weird at first to him. the way suga would smile at him, pull him close and the smell of perfume and blood would overcome everything around him and he'd be left breathless or when they went out to eat and he'd swallow down so much food in so little time that he managed to have a liable excuse when he had went rushing down to the men's toilet, ready to throw all of the food down.

or when they had first laid together and oikawa had fed well before it as to not in his haze bite down on his lover and even then he had nearly did exactly that, almost letting his senses overcome him in the smell of sex and rc cells. 

all in all, it's a state he even feels right now and it's definitely putrid. 

"due to high ghoul sightings and killing, the ccg has ordered the kurayami matsuri festival to come to an uneventful halt. even under constant eyes of the ghoul investigators, eight killings has taken place throughout tokyo within barely three days of the festival". oikawa feels himself freeze, his eyes staring at the scenes flashing across the television - the brightly color portable shines, the white coats of the investigators, the crowd milling about heavily in the streets - until it settles on the anchor again. she looks solemn, a bit reproachful and suga pairs her expression perfectly as he watches along with him. 

"with numerous ghoul sightings and factions growing throughout tokyo, we wonder how strong ccg can be against predators who feed on us and live amongst us as one of our own". the anchor continues but oikawa can't think anything but that they might qurantine the area. "today we have docter ikkei ukai and the famed ghoul investigator wakkatoshi ishijima with us to talk about this development". 

his heart feels like it's in his throat, choking him. it hates feeling like there's nothing thing but darkness in front of him but with the investigators going on nation wide search would mean going back in the field of killing them and-

"they wouldn't do that". suga speak up. he's looking at him, his expression staying blank except for his eyes which are reproachful. "we don't many to our disposal as it would seem". 

oikawa wants to say that he knows, that sometimes when suga's sleeping he rummages through his files with care to check on what he's investigating. most sometimes after that, he'll hide in the bathroom, not because he's pushing himself everywhere in suga's life but because reading descriptions and noticing that they are some he had known and met once or twice at the cafe naused him to his core. knowing why they vanished, the guilt eating away at his already disingreting heart and lying to his teeth unsettled him. 

"did you hunt anyone but her?". suga chokes out. 

he stares back on him, swallowing the nausua which comes up again. "i didn't hunt her. she was already half dying when i got there". 

he doesn't say that she could've been saved or that if it wasn't here, it would someone else and they'll be nine teeth instead of eight. he feels his thoughts hanging in the air between them, suga not able to read them while they glared back at suga like neon lights on a club. 

there's still a question glistening in his eyes but suga doesn't put it out, hesitant of his words. oikawa decides to answer anyways, his eyes dropping to their threadbare carpet. 

"i was hungry. i hadn't eaten for months and i couldn't take it any longer. i know you would consider it pathetic, say that-". 

"i wouldn't".

"- no you would. you don't understand how it feels to stay hungry when the only thing you can eat is around you, brushing against you, talking to you, lying with you. _kissing you_. you don't understand the torture you go through to hold yourself back when you're inches away with biting. its the ultimate torture". he refuses to look up, maybe because he fears the uncertain look suga will have on his face. "knowing that if you let your guard down one second you could loose everything you have spent doing all your life - my job, you, everything". 

for minutes he speaks up. oikawa is wondering how he had told everything he had been waiting to tell him like this - emotional and rushed. he isn't calm like he had hoped he would be. 

"you wouldn't have lost me". 

"really?". he reproaches. he feels like an anger ridden teenager finally letting out his frustration out - his voice hard yet constant. "suga look in my eyes and tell me if i hadn't stopped you wouldn't have cleaved me right through".

his silence is all the answer he needs. 

"i love you. i love you as my koushi, as an investigator, as my prey. i love you". his heart is heavy in his heart. "but i wish i didn't if it meant you finding it like this". 

"same". 

oikawa looks up and finds suga looking back at him. the unsure expression breaks into a small smile and a laugh. there's irony in there situation, both holding onto the end of their sticks and waiting and waiting and waiting. it's funny. 

there's still a smile smile playing in the corner of his mouth when he says, "i love you to death, i guess" and they dissolve into giggles again. the gold lining between the two lovers is hilarious in front of his eyes. knowing what type of position they are in. 

when they grow silent again, the tension is somehow a bit less and they are smiling at each other. oikawa shifts in his stool near the kitchen counter, making himself comfortable. 

"for what's it worth, i don't plan to do anything to you". 

"that's good". 

"yeah". 

"maybe because i know if i did that, kill you i mean i wouldn't have been able to live with myself". 

suga pulls himself up, putting his mug away and the quilt in a neat pile on the couch. his shoulder is still stiff with the bruise from two days ago and suga hadn't let him look at it. oikawa yet again thinks of yanking the collar of that shoulder to see how bad he had pushed him. oikawa wasn't very good at controlling his own power, especially when he had fed and the cells were still surging through him. 

"can i?". 

"i wouldn't bite". 

suga gives him a look but oikawa gives him a charming smile. he knows suga could look through the smile and see the nerves in his smile. the disappointment and the hopefulness. 

slowly, hesitantly suga approaches him. oikawa knows with one look in his eyes that he still is uneasy, the horror still swimming through his veins but still he moves towards him. his lover's breathing is erratic, the heart beat a bit louder. 

he's close enough that oikawa can smell the lavender from his hair, the jasmine from his mouth and on the lips, the nervous smell of jitters and see the purple bruise on his shoulder peeking through his clothes. he suppresses a shiver for when the inevitable happens. 

and suga kisses him on his cheek - a peace offering, a truce for a time being they had thought early in they're relationship. they'd use it when they fought or when they were in a dinner and couldn't exactly talk in front of the guests in that way. 

it's doesn't matter that nothing is fine. that investigators are on high alert or that someone might come looking for him soon. right now the warmth of the kiss is everything that matters -

"i'm glad you ate him then". and that. "torru if we are to still live together i hope you plan to talk me through everything. i'm quite clueless to the way of your kind". 

the silver male goes back to his perch on the sofa and calls for him to join him there. oikawa wonders how much he was willing to do when he changes the channel to a romantic movie and smiles sheepishly from over his mug. 

**Author's Note:**

> so basically I found that I hadn't posted it months ago like I had thought I had so here it is. the sweet mess of oisuga x tokyo ghoul.


End file.
